After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
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We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
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What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize