There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
