I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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