like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
