If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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