Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
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im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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