When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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