He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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