I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
