Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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