all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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