Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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