At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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