TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
