does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Randomize
