When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
