Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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