plz talk dirty to me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
