Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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