dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
