what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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