I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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