I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
