Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
