Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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