My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize