Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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