just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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