I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
