at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
