If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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