Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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