I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
