I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
