So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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