When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
