the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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