Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
