i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
