I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
