so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
