I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
