Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
