the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
