Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
