she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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