Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wish you could order shots online.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
