Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
