go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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