I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
