she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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