i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My dick has a subreddit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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