either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
