they need to just BURY HIM!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
