I puked a lego.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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