The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
