Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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