smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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