ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize